Sooooo, my sister told me about this AMAZING book called the Fuck It Diet. And I’m ALL about anything with the work FUCK in it, so I pick it up on Audible. I listened to about 7/8ths of it and stopped.
I know, you’re like WTF, you didn’t even finish the book?!
I had to stop.
I just had to.
There is something about this book. Something hard to admit, or think about, or come to terms with. It’s a great book, honestly. Very worth the read. She has really interesting facts and figures, and it’s obviously stayed with me for a while. I’d say it was one of those life-changing books for me in that I feel more self-aware…and I don’t really like what I’m aware of now.
Here was the jist of the book/diet.
It’s actually not a diet at all. It’s the idea of you eating what your body actually wants. That sounds great, right?! But there’s this whole hump you have to get past before you can get to the part where your body craves broccoli and healthy shit like that.
Pretty much, by constantly limiting ourselves and staying in this state of restriction and diet, our brain goes into a starvation mode because it thinks we’re in famine.
So…we have to get out of the starvation mode MEANING eat what you want when you want.
And if you’re anything like me, you’re probably thinking but what if we just turn into a 600lb whale because we ate ALL OF THE THINGS?!?!
But the author SWEARS that if you eat what you want when you want with no limitations…one day – like a lightswitch – your body will just decide: eh, I’m good right now. I don’t feel like eating an entire bag of oreos at this moment. Maybe later.
Just like that, you’ve broken the curse of having to always stand next to the buffet line at house parties, of worrying if this snack will put you over the edge for your calorie goal today, or of standing at the fridge sneaking some leftover fried rice while your partner is asleep…not like that’s happened of course.
All of that sounds amazing, right?! To stop letting food have this emotional hold over you. To feel free and happy about your food decisions, and to not worry if something is going to come back and bite you in the ass.
But there’s a catch.
Because there’s always a catch.
This book is pretty much promising that you’ll have a better and healthier relationship with food and that you’ll settle into a weight that your body was meant to be at…and not really veer from there.
But it is NOT promising that you’ll lose weight. Actually, it’s saying that you may gain weight. But if you do, then you just have to be ok with that. You have to be ok with taking up more space in the world. And to be ok with the idea that you won’t be the same size you were in high school if that’s not where your body was meant to be.
We just have to let go and let flow. (Insert worried emoji.)
Because apparently – the more we yo-yo diet, the wider our weight range becomes. The wider the weight range becomes, the further away we get from our actual desired weight…which is super depressing, right?!
For example, if I lose 15 pounds…and then I, of course, gain that weight back because of…life (and then 5 more because of…life), now my range becomes 20 pounds. And that range just gets wider from there the more we diet.
It’s the same idea when people get this really great momentum doing some crazy diet, lose a ton of weight, and then they have one little blip in the road (like a cheat day or something), and then they gain it all back just like that. We’ve all seen that happen, right?
So even if we are at our lowest weight right now, but we normally sit 15 pounds heavier, by doing the Fuck It Diet…we will probably pop back up to our normal weight and then stay there forever.
And I hate to say it, but I have a WEIRD love/hate relationship with food.
Where I LOVE food. I dream of meals. I plan meals WHILE I’m eating meals. But I just HATE the consequences of food. I hate the idea of gaining back all of the weight I’ve lost and then some. AND then just hanging out at my largest weight…or larger…FOREVER. That idea – I’m just having a really hard time swallowing.
When I think about wearing my “fat” pants because I couldn’t fit in my normal ones anymore is a bummer. It’s upsetting. It’s embarrassing that I don’t feel stronger and more “one with my weight.” But when I do gain weight, I think to myself: “You can do better. I’ve seen it happen. Do you FEEL attractive at this level? Do you FEEL pretty right now?” And I hate that. I hate that I equate my attractiveness to my weight. I hate that I still remember clear as day how my ex-husband told me that I needed to lose weight and how that lowered my value in his eyes and, most importantly, in my own eyes.
And I feel like if I were to actually do the Fuck It diet with these fears and negative thoughts constantly happening behind the curtain, I would never find that peace with food like the author talks about because I would be constantly cursing every pound I gained or just mad at myself for eating So. Many. Snacks.
Weight is still an emotional shit show for me and something I’m continuing to work on. Ugh. I hate it. But at the end of the day, my body and I are in this together until we die.
This relationship is one of the few that really matters.
Soooo…that’s where I’m at. In this awkward middle where I recognize that there’s a problem, but I’m not convinced that this solution (albeit convincing) would be the best solution considering my deep dark feelings about weight and all of that jazz.
And so this body drama continues.
Have you read this book?? What did you think? Let’s talk about it!
Till next time.